3 Archetypes of Negotiators

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Welcome To The Business Of Wholesaling Newsletter!

Every week, we’ll be sending you strategies, tactics, and tools used by successful wholesalers and we’ll cover any important market insights and news in the industry.

Here’s what we got for you today:

• The Rule of Three

• 3 Archetypes of Negotiators

• Conquering the "Monster of Self"

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The Rule of Three

In real estate, verbal commitments can sometimes vanish into thin air when it's time to sign on the dotted line. The Rule of Three offers a powerful way to test if someone's words match their true intentions.

This technique is beautifully simple: get the person to commit to the same thing three different times during your conversation. It works because while someone might fake enthusiasm or agreement once, but maintaining that pretense three separate times becomes much harder. Each confirmation adds another layer of commitment, making it increasingly difficult to back out later.

The beauty of the Rule of Three is that you don't have to ask the same question repeatedly like a broken record. You can vary your approach each time. For instance, first you might get a direct agreement ("Yes, I'm ready to sell"). For the second confirmation, you could summarize their position ("So you're comfortable moving forward with the sale next month") to get that valuable "That's right" response. For the third check, you might ask an implementation question ("How do you see the closing process working?").

Alternatively, you might approach the same issue from three different angles: "What's your biggest concern about selling now?" followed later by "What obstacles do you see in this process?" and finally "What might prevent us from closing on time?"

This three-pronged approach does more than just confirm commitment—it reveals inconsistencies between what people say and what their body language or tone suggests. When someone's words don't match their true intentions, the Rule of Three tends to expose the disconnect.

The Rule of Three serves as a truth detector in real estate negotiations. By the third confirmation, you'll know whether you're dealing with genuine commitment or just empty words—potentially saving you from wasted time and false expectations.

3 Archetypes of Negotiators

According to Chris Voss, there are 3 types of negotiators. Understanding the three main negotiator types can help you adjust your approach and reach better deals. 

Think of these styles as different languages - when you speak the right one, communication flows much more smoothly.

The Accommodator is the relationship builder of the negotiating world. These folks value connection above all else and might spend the first fifteen minutes chatting about your family or the local sports team before getting down to business. 

For them, time equals relationship-building. They're looking for win-win situations and want everyone to walk away happy. When they go silent during negotiations, watch out - it usually means they're upset about something. 

These negotiators are typically friendly and pleasant to deal with, but they might sacrifice too much just to keep the relationship intact.

The Assertive negotiator is that fast-talking, time-conscious person who wants to cut to the chase. For them, time literally equals money, and their self-image is tied to how efficiently they can close deals. 

They may come across as pushy or aggressive, preferring direct communication over pleasantries. When you go silent on them, they'll usually interpret it as an invitation to keep talking. 

These types often make quick decisions but might miss important details in their rush to get things done.

The Analyst is the methodical, detail-oriented negotiator who arrives with spreadsheets and market research. For them, time equals preparation, and they'll want to examine every aspect of the deal before moving forward. 

They love data and facts, and may seem slow-moving because of their thoroughness. When these folks go silent, don't worry - they're just processing information. 

They're not angry; they're thinking. Their patience for small talk is limited, but their attention to detail can be invaluable.

Remember, most people aren't purely one type - they're a blend of styles, though one usually dominates. 

By identifying which style you're dealing with, you can adapt your approach to speak their language and make the negotiation smoother for everyone involved.

Conquering the "Monster of Self"

When you're trying to close real estate deals, your biggest obstacle often isn't the market or your competition - it's the voices in your own head.

These internal saboteurs make up what's called the "Monster of Self," and they can derail even the most promising investment opportunities.

From Jim Murphy’s book Inner Excellence, this monster has three distinct personalities, each trying to hold you back in different ways

First, there's the Monkey Mind - that constant chatterbox in your head that never shuts up. This endless stream of thoughts creates analysis paralysis, preventing you from taking action on deals.

The key is learning to quiet this noise, slow down the mental chatter, and replace those anxious thoughts with clear, focused thinking.

Then there's the Trickster - the crafty voice that reminds you of every past failure and convinces you history will repeat itself.

"Remember that deal you lost money on last year? This one will be just like that."

The Trickster makes you argue for your own limitations and projects past failures into your future. To overcome this voice, you must reject its deceptive narrative and focus on the present opportunity, not past disappointments.

Finally, there's the Critic - the harsh judge that labels every situation as "good" or "bad" and reacts emotionally to every market shift.

The Critic might have you walking away from properties with great potential because one aspect doesn't meet its impossibly high standards.

To silence the Critic, stop labeling market conditions or property issues as inherently good or bad, and instead see them as neutral circumstances that you can work with.

Recognizing these three voices is the first step to taking back control of your investment decisions. When you learn to quiet the Monster of Self, you'll find clarity in chaos and confidence in uncertainty - the true hallmarks of successful entrepreneurs.

Thanks for reading this week’s issue of the Business of Wholesaling. 

We’ll be back next week with more marketing & sales strategies, market insights, and other advice you can use to grow your wholesaling business. 

See you next week.

Team Business of Wholesaling